A new family moved next door two years ago, but we have never seen it face to face. This may be a characteristic of communities in big cities nowadays. They don’t know each other when they come in and out, and they don’t even know what the other person looks like. Today when the elevator went upstairs, just as the elevator door was about to close, I saw a man holding a child. The young mother walked in quickly. I blocked the elevator door that was about to close with my hand. The other person said thank you and was about to press the floor button. Then she paused and didn't press the button. We exited the elevator together on the same floor. It turned out that she lived next door to me. She also looked at me in surprise and said hello to each other.
Me: When did you live here?
Her: You moved here after the epidemic. It’s been two years. Are you a tenant?
Me: I’ve been here for twenty years
Her: Oh.
She was still a little confused and continued to ask: "So I haven't seen you before?"
Me: Well, because I am often away from Shanghai.
Indeed, since I quit my job that year and left home to wander around, my presence in this community has basically dropped to zero over the years.
Some old residents have moved away, and many are new ones. Over the years, many owners have come and gone.
In order to break the awkward cross-examination conversation, I jokingly said: I have never seen you people, I only see a pile of express delivery on the ground at the door every day. And laughed in agreement. Then prepare to close the door.
Her: Oh, I have purchased a lot of things online in the past few days.
After saying that, he quickly folded up all the boxes at the door and put them behind the door at the stairway, where the cleaning lady would usually come to collect them.
I realized that what I had just said had led her to believe that I was referring to her cluttering the public walkways.
I didn't mean to accuse, but I immediately felt embarrassed and thought, forget it. . . Go inside and close the door.
Nowadays, in daily life in big cities, the population density is high and social activities are frequent, which will form people's highly sensitive nerves when communicating. When a sentence enters the brain, it can be quickly interpreted from several angles. It can quickly find an interpretation that may put one in a social depression, and then quickly eliminate it. This is also a kind of anxiety in social interactions between people in big cities. This social outlook refers to various aspects such as public morality, private morality, morality, compassion, helping others, respecting the elderly, etc.
I have always been among the highly sensitive people. In the past, it was more serious and even distressed. I also read some books and studied myself. Until I read a book, I felt more relieved. The title of the book is "High Sensitivity is a Gift". I think highly sensitive people will be somewhat comforted when they read this title. The book says that we should look at the phenomenon of hypersensitivity from another perspective and accept it. Moreover, it is good. Of course, it also has bad aspects, but you must accept both sides, because they are inherently positive and negative sides of the same coin. Now I am still highly sensitive, but I feel a lot more relieved, because many of the flaws and traits in people are not shortcomings, they also have an excellent side. So I would like to put it to the extreme, people have no shortcomings, only characteristics. Recognize your own characteristics and let yourself go appropriately. This is the original intention of reconciling with yourself.